Kill the Moronic 2
by Spanish Ninja Sneasel
Summary: Amanda's birthday present is sequeled! After Link falls in love with Amanda, he doesn't want to go home without her. But maybe he doesn't have to... Mountain Dew Code Red! Health food junk! Popcorn boy! Kirby kisses! Better run while you can.
1. Default Chapter

Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! It's not mine, stop rubbing it in. v_v  
  
Author's notes: ::dances around:: Dar gets a seeequel, Dar gets a seeequel... *ahem* Well, this is obviously the sequel to the birthday present that I wrote for Amanda: Kill the Moronic. It was fun to write the first one, and Dar deserves presents. *giggles* This is based mostly off of an inside joke that Dar and I have, which involves her, me, Link, and Roy. ::grins:: There'll probably be a few lines from it, but I'm not totally sure yet.  
  
This story is in script mode. Words/sentences between (X) are things happening in the scene, words/scentences between ::X:: are character actions, and words/sentences between *X* are, generally speaking, character sounds.  
  
__ __ __  
  
(Fade in: The stars of KTM--Amanda, Mel, Link, Roy, and Marth--are standing in front of a big, blue, swirly light-thingie. Link and Amanda are facing each other, holding hands.)  
  
Link: Please, Amanda... Do this for me?  
  
Amanda: Link, do you realize what you're asking of me? I can't just leave my entire dimension, never to be seen again!  
  
Link: It doesn't have to be permanent; just come for a little while... Please? After meeting you, I... I can't just leave and forget about you. Don't you understand?  
  
Amanda: I know, I feel the same, but this is just--  
  
Link: Come on... I came here, didn't I?  
  
Amanda: Against your will, may I remind you.  
  
Mel: Yeah, you were part of my present to her. And I can't rent that machine forever, you know.  
  
Link: But Amanda... ::Puts on a pitiful face::  
  
Amanda: Well... ::Looks to Mel with a "Help me" look:: Um... Can she come, too?  
  
Link: Who? Mel?  
  
Amanda: Yeah.  
  
Mel: Wait, wait, wait, wait... Who said anything about ME going?!  
  
Amanda: Do you expect me to go in there on my own?  
  
Mel: Well, I guess not, but... ::Notices Roy playing with his cape:: I'm in!  
  
Link: So what do you say, Manda?  
  
Amanda: Well, um... I guess so--  
  
Link: Yay! ::Grabs Amanda and starts squeezing her::  
  
Amanda: *Choking* But only for a while! Can you... Let go of me now?  
  
Link: Of course. Sorry. ::Stops squeezing Amanda::  
  
Marth: So they're coming with us?  
  
(Before Marth gets his answer, a strange "Ay-eah" noise is heard coming from behind him. He turns around to see Kirby standing behind him.. Again.)  
  
Marth: You again?! I thought you already went back with everyone else!  
  
(Kirby makes big puppy eyes, then squats down, pouting.)  
  
Roy: Now look what you did. He's gonna cry.  
  
Marth: I don't care!  
  
Roy: He came all the way back here just to find you, and this is how you thank him?! You monster!  
  
(Mel starts snickering.)  
  
Marth: You stay out of this!  
  
Mel: I didn't say a word.  
  
(Roy kneels down and pets Kirby.)  
  
Roy: It's okay, Kirby. He loves you and he knows it. He's just ashamed to admit it.  
  
Marth: Don't be giving that thing ideas, Roy.  
  
Link: Are we going, or what?  
  
(Link, Amanda, Mel, Roy, Marth, and Kirby jump into the big, blue, swirly light-thingie. The scene changes, and the six are in what appears to be a cafeteria.)  
  
Roy: Why did the portal lead us here, of all places? You think they'd put us out front.  
  
Amanda: So is this is where the Smash Brothers reside?  
  
Link: Sort of. It's the mess hall.  
  
Mel: So we could tell.  
  
Marth: We should find Mario and get you girls a bunk, I guess.  
  
Link: No, that's all right. Amanda can share our bunk, Marth.  
  
Amanda and Marth: Uh, NO.  
  
Marth: Who said you could invite other people to our bunk? A girl, nonetheless.  
  
Amanda: Yes, a girl, Link.  
  
Mel: Besides, where would I stay? The lawn?  
  
Link: You could stay with Roy and Fox. I'm sure Roy wouldn't mind.  
  
(Roy's face turns red while Mel stomps on Link's foot.)  
  
Marth: So we're getting them a bunk, LINK.  
  
Link: *Sighs* Fine...  
  
Marth: Now, you'll have to excuse me while I go find Mario.  
  
(Marth starts to walk away, then notices that Kirby is still following him. He stops and stares at Kirby. Kirby gives a huge, openmouthed grin. Marth takes a few steps to the left, Kirby follows. Marth takes two steps straight, as does Kirby. Marth begins running through the cafeteria, Kirby in tow.)  
  
Marth: WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!  
  
Kirby: AY-EAH!  
  
(Scene change: Amanda and Mel in a double bunk, laying in the crappy beds, trying to sleep.)  
  
Mel: So, how have you been enjoying this interesting little experience?  
  
Amanda: Well, there's Link... Marth kind of scares me. Roy's too quiet. But you've been getting along pretty well with him, haven't you?  
  
Mel: Sort of.  
  
Amanda: How so?  
  
Mel: Well, when you and Link went off into that room, I grabbed Roy and we ran off.  
  
Amanda: ::Smirking:: Oh, really? And what did you do?  
  
Mel: We ran into Ness and poked him with sticks.  
  
Amanda: ::Blinks:: Um, I guess that can work, too...  
  
Mel: I'm too shy like that, you know. I can't just go up to a guy I like and click with him, like you and Link. In fact, when I like a guy, I feel lousy when I'm around him, because I know he doesn't care.  
  
Amanda: Well, I think he likes you. Didn't you see the way he turned red when Link suggested you bunk up with him?  
  
Mel: That's because Link was trying to embarrass him. It didn't mean anything.  
  
Amanda: Sure it didn't.  
  
Mel: *Sighs* Whatever you say, Dar. All I know is that Link is totally nuts over you.  
  
Amanda: And he doesn't exactly hide it, either...  
  
Mel: "She can bunk up with me!"  
  
Amanda: *Laughs* He can be such an idiot sometimes.  
  
Mel: But you gotta love his idiocy.  
  
Amanda: Yeah, I guess so.  
  
(Silence fills the room for a while... Perhaps they're asleep.)  
  
Mel: I wonder if Marth has his door double-locked to keep Kirby out?  
  
Amanda: Nah. Kirby's probably already in there. 


	2. ::Dances::

(Scene change: The next afternoon. Link, Marth and Roy are in the courtyard while Amanda and Mel are being shown around by Ganondorf. Link is practicing his archery while Marth and Roy sit on a cement wall, watching.)  
  
Roy: So, Marth. I see you ditched that poor, adorable little creampuff.  
  
Marth: *growls* Don't start.  
  
Roy: You know...  
  
Marth: You're starting, aren't you?  
  
Roy: I really don't understand why you don't care for Kirby. I mean, think about it. He's the best chance at a relationship you've gotten yet in this place. Remember Samus?  
  
Marth: ::Shudders:: Yes, I remember Samus quite well. I still have the scar. But things are gonna be different. I don't need Samus or Kirby.  
  
Roy: Why is that?  
  
Marth: I'm going for a different approach, and I won't try girls with huge armor and guns on their arms.  
  
Roy: Um, who did you have in mind?  
  
Marth: Well, Amanda's--  
  
Link: ::While aiming a shot:: Amanda's mine!  
  
Marth: I didn't even know you were listening!  
  
Link: I heard Amanda's name; that makes it my business.  
  
Roy: ::Shakes head:: Well, she's off-limits.  
  
Marth: Then there's Mel.  
  
Roy: ::Sweatdrops:: You're not gonna... Go for her, are you?  
  
Marth: ....Mel, who picks on me all the time.  
  
Roy: So she's out of the question?  
  
Marth: But some people say that's a sign that someone likes you.  
  
Roy: Well, um, I think she picks on you in more of a... Picking-on... Sort of way...  
  
Marth: Roy, what on earth are you babbling about?  
  
Roy: Well, I pick on you, don't I?! It doesn't mean I like you! You shouldn't jump to conclusions like that!  
  
Marth: Calm down! I was just saying--  
  
(Marth is interrupted by Amanda and Mel laughing. The girls and Ganondorf are entering the courtyard. Ganondorf appears to be acting like a decent gentleman, but Mel keeps throwing rocks at the back of his head. Ganondorf is trying his best not to lose his temper.)  
  
Ganondorf: *Through his teeth* And this is the courtyard. The fighters often come here to train and--Ow!  
  
(Ganondorf is hit in the head again, and Mel starts giggling again.)  
  
Link: Hey, Amanda! ::Waves frantically::  
  
Mel: End tour!  
  
(Mel and Amanda run toward Link, Marth and Roy, leaving Ganondorf seething.)  
  
Roy: Hi, girls.  
  
Marth: So you're done being an idiot?  
  
Amanda: We missed something, didn't we?  
  
Marth: Roy here was acting like a raving lunatic, going on about--  
  
Roy: It's nothing, Amanda. Just a weird mood swing.  
  
Mel: Mood swings suck. I'm a cusp--on the Cancer sign, no less--so I get 'em a lot.  
  
Amanda: ...  
  
Mel: Zodiac junk. I believe in all that. But mood swings can be fun when you can mess around with people's heads.  
  
Link: You have a strange way of thinking.  
  
Mel: Thank you very much, the line for autographs starts to your left.  
  
(Roy laughs.)  
  
Mel: Wow, that's the first time anyone's ever laughed at that.  
  
Roy: Was I not supposed to do that?  
  
Mel: Well, it doesn't matter... If your taste is weird enough to actually see humor in my comments.  
  
Roy: Well, uh, is it a good thing that I did?  
  
Mel: I... ::sweatdrops:: Don't know... Why are you asking me this?  
  
Roy: No reason.  
  
Mel: Oh...  
  
Link: How sweet.  
  
Mel: Don't make me step on you again.  
  
Link: I'm hungry. What say we grab something to eat?  
  
Amanda: Sounds good to me.  
  
(Scene change: The five of them are at the counter in the cafeteria. Link--who looks angry--is talking to Luigi, who is running it, and the others look somewhat embarrassed.)  
  
Link: What do you MEAN, you don't have any Mountain Dew Code Red?! This is an outrage!  
  
Mel: Link, will you calm down?! It's just soda, and it's nasty soda anyway.  
  
Amanda: What?!  
  
Mel: Mountain Dew Code Red... Is nasty.  
  
Link: You did not just say that.  
  
Amanda: I kind of wish you didn't like it, Link... It makes you bounce off the walls.  
  
Link: *Sighs* Well, do you at least have any Squeezits?  
  
(Scene change: The five are at a table with their food, and Link has three cherry Squeezits.)  
  
Marth: So, Mel...  
  
Mel: ::Eating a meatball sub:: Hm?  
  
Marth: You, um... ::Looks at Mel's tray:: Like subs?  
  
Mel: Very much. Meatball subs with provolone cheese. ::Gives a thumbs-up:: Yum.  
  
Marth: Yeah, I imagine. *Clears throat*  
  
Link: *Whispers to Marth* The real ladies' man.  
  
Marth: *Whispers to Link* Shut up! I'm just trying to make conversation.  
  
Mel: You, um... ::Looks at Marth's tray:: like health-food junk?  
  
(Marth looks at his tray of Caesar salad, no dressing, and low-fat yogurt. Roy snickers.)  
  
Marth: Well, it's... ::Playing with his fork:: Good.  
  
Mel: Low on fat, low on calories, low on taste!  
  
(Mel winks and gives another tumbs-up, looking like a bad advertisement. Roy laughs more.)  
  
Marth: *Sighs* How's your meal, Amanda?  
  
(Marth looks toward Amanda, who is spoon-feeding Link stir-fry.)  
  
Marth: Erm, never mind.  
  
(Scene change: The five are outdoors again. Link and Roy are sword fighting; Amanda, Mel and Marth are sitting in the grass.)  
  
Marth: Hey, Amanda?  
  
Amanda: Yeah?  
  
Marth: You and Link are pretty close, huh?  
  
Amanda: Well, I wouldn't go THAT far.  
  
Marth: But you care about him... Don't you?  
  
Amanda: Of course.  
  
Marth: *Under his breath* Damn. Mel, you're not seeing anyone, are you?  
  
Mel: ::Blinks:: This is a random question.  
  
Marth: I'm just wondering...  
  
Mel: Wondering what? Don't tell me you're gonna ask me out.  
  
Marth: So is this a no?  
  
Mel: I'd say so, popcorn boy.  
  
Marth: What the-- What did you just call me?  
  
Mel: Popcorn boy.  
  
Marth: Why?  
  
Mel: *Scoffs* Stupid Melee, duh. Do you know nothing, popcorn boy?  
  
Marth: *Sighs* *To himself* I guess I'm running out of options... I guess I'm gonna have to do it.  
  
(Link and Roy join the other three. They both look tired out.)  
  
Amanda: Good match?  
  
Roy: Are you kidding me? He sucked!  
  
Link: I didn't suck! You were just lucky.  
  
Roy: Admit it; you were terrible. Wasn't he, Mel?  
  
Mel: Sorry, I wasn't exactly watching. I was trying to get Marth off of me.  
  
Roy: Huh? ::Glares at Marth::  
  
Marth: What are you looking at me like that for?  
  
Roy: I thought you said you weren't gonna try her.  
  
Marth: No, YOU said that in your little fit. Why should it concern you?  
  
Amanda: Isn't it obvious?  
  
Mel: It is?  
  
Link: Of course. I've known all along, Roy.  
  
Amanda: And don't think you've been hiding it either, Mel.  
  
(Mel and Roy's faces both flush, and Marth looks pissed off.)  
  
Marth: Oh, how perfect! Link gets Amanda, Roy gets Mel... ::Kicks the closest tree:: And I get Kirby! WONDERFUL!  
  
Link: Calm down, Marth--  
  
Marth: No, I'm NOT gonna calm down! It's easy for you to say, isn't it?! You've got Amanda all to yourself... Well, guess what? ::Pulls out his sword:: I challenge you.  
  
Link: What?  
  
Marth: A duel. For Amanda. Right here. Right now.  
  
Amanda: Wait a minute!  
  
Marth: What do you say, Link?  
  
Link: Why should I have to fight YOU for MY girlfriend?  
  
Marth: Okay, I understand. I understand if you're not man enough to duel for--  
  
Link: I AM NOT GIRLY! ::Pulls out his sword::  
  
Marth: ::Blinks, Okay, that's not what I meant, but... It worked!  
  
Amanda: Link, what do you think you're doing?!  
  
Link: Don't worry, Manda; I can't lose to him.  
  
Amanda: But you just lost your last match, you're probably too tired to fight again!  
  
Marth: Come on, girly man.  
  
(Link and Marth walk out to the spot where Link and Roy had just battled. Amanda sighs and puts her head in her hands; Roy holds Mel, who seems bothered by the whole thing.)  
  
Marth: Ready?  
  
Link: More than you'll ever be.  
  
(Marth begins by dashing toward Link. But before any action can start, Marth is suddenly overwhelmed by a strong wind, pulling him. Marth is sucked up by Kirby, who spits him back out, but copying his hair and crown.)  
  
Kirby: ::Blushing:: Ooh...  
  
Marth: That's the worst kiss I've ever gotten!!  
  
(Link takes this opportunity and slices Marth offguard three times, sending him to the ground.)  
  
Marth: Ow... Unfair!  
  
Link: ::Grinning:: I win.  
  
Marth: No, you don't! I want a rematch!  
  
Amanda: Link won, and there's nothing you can do to change that!  
  
(Link hugs Amanda, then they walk off. Mel and Roy follow, hand-in-hand.)  
  
Marth: But... But... You can't do this to me! ::Turns to Kirby:: YOU! This is all your fault! If it weren't for you, I'D be the one walking off with her! You... You... YOU...  
  
(Kirby kisses Marth on the cheek and lets out a strange, Kirby-like giggle. Marth lowers his head.)  
  
Marth: I just can't win. 


End file.
